Elton John Admits He’s Still Working On His Infamous Behavior

via Elton John/YouTube
He Said He’s “Not Proud Of That Stuff”
In a new interview with The Guardian, Elton John admitted that he still working on his “erratic” and “unpredictable” behavior.
When he began abusing cocaine and alcohol, it brought out the worst in him. He trashed a hotel room, and he once mistook Bob Dylan for a gardener at a house party.
“I wasnโt unkind to anybody โฆ Iโm not horrible to people,” John confessed. “Iโm not proud of that stuff, no, it makes me shudder. My behaviour was so erratic and so unpredictable. And itโs still in me, to explode at any moment. Iโve been trying to work on that for a long time and Iโve got a wonderful husband who knows how to get me out of that stuff.”
“I think itโs an artistic thing โ artists can be so self-destructive sometimes, for no reason,” he continued. “I can have a day when everything in my whole life is going so well, and I get up and I feel like the world is against me. Why, I do not know.”
When pressed, however, John admitted that he did know. “The self-loathing, not having any self-esteem, that all comes from when I was a kid,” he explained. “Thatโs the way it was in the 50s โ you got slapped round the face, you got a good hiding. โIt was bloody good for youโ โ it wasnโt good for me. It left me walking on eggshells.”
That went on until adulthood. Until he became sober, he was afraid to speak to anybody. People urged him to undergo treatment, which worked for him.
“I came to defrost, as it were, and discovered I did have feelings, and they went back a long time,” he recalled. “And I think it stays with you for the whole of your life โฆ I just have terrible feelings about myself; I feel bad about myself sometimes.”
Elton John’s most recent release, The Lockdown Sessions, featured his collaborations with diverse group of artists like Dua Lipa, Eddie Vedder, Stevie Nicks and Stevie Wonder.