Valerie Bertinelli, 65, Reveals the Final Words She Shared With Eddie Van Halen on His Deathbed
Society of Rock
Actress and television personality Valerie Bertinelli is opening up about her long and complicated relationship with late guitarist Eddie Van Halen, sharing personal memories from their marriage and the emotional moments they experienced before his death. In her new memoir Getting Naked: The Quiet Work of Becoming Perfectly Imperfect, Bertinelli reflects on how the two rebuilt a sense of understanding after years apart.
Bertinelli, now 65, writes that despite their divorce, she and Van Halen reached what she described as a “place of deep love and forgiveness” during the final period of his life in 2020. The book revisits their early romance, struggles during marriage, and the renewed bond they formed as time brought perspective to both of them.
A Relationship Marked by Love and Change
Bertinelli and Van Halen married in 1983 during the height of the guitarist’s fame. The couple welcomed their son, Wolfgang Van Halen, now 34, before separating in 2001 and finalizing their divorce in 2007. In the memoir, the One Day at a Time actress recalls that they were “madly in love starting out,” even though their relationship later faced serious challenges.
She describes a meaningful conversation during their final Thanksgiving together. “At the last Thanksgiving we shared, he took me outside and opened his heart in a way he said was way past due,” she wrote in her memoir. “We both did. We found a place of deep love and forgiveness for our past mistakes.” According to Bertinelli, the moment helped heal wounds that had remained unresolved for years.
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Attempts at Making Amends
Bertinelli explained that she noticed a change in Van Halen as his health declined. The musician, known for his work with Van Halen, began reconnecting with people from his past. She wrote that he had started “making amends,” reaching out to others in a direct and personal way.
“He was cold-calling them. It was sweet— and that was Ed at the core, sweet,” she recounted. “He wanted to make it right with me, too. I was told that every time I would walk out of a room, he would look around and say, ‘The biggest mistake of my life was letting her go.’ In our own way, we never did let go.” Bertinelli described these moments as signs of emotional growth and reflection during his final months.
Despite the difficulties they faced during marriage, she spoke warmly about his character. “He wanted to be the right person, the good person that he already was. His heart was always pure. He was such a good man.” Her account presents a picture of reconciliation shaped by shared history and mutual respect.
A Final Goodbye and Lasting Connection
Van Halen died in October 2020 at age 65 following a battle with throat cancer. Bertinelli revealed that she remained close to him until the end and was present during his final moments. “My final words to him when he was taking his last breaths in the hospital were ‘I love you,’” she wrote, describing the quiet farewell they shared.
She has previously spoken publicly about their relationship, including during an October 2025 appearance on The Drew Barrymore Show. Reflecting on their past, she said, “We grew, we didn’t work… but I don’t feel like it was a failure because there were many years there that were so happy. And I have Wolfie,” she said at the time. “I just can’t think of it as a failure, because I still have deep love for the man even though he’s not here.”
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